That my phriend (friend) is no easy feat, but it is very manageable IF you follow a few guidelines.
Most important thing to remember there has to be a "BALANCE"! Without balance, you will burn yourself out and it won't be good for either of you.
I was a caregiver to my grandmother from 2008 until 2016. She came to us after she fell at Christmas and broke her shoulder, what turned out to only being a few weeks so she could heal, turned into the remainder of her life.
In 2010 she was diagnosed with Mild to Moderate Dementia and could not live on her own anymore. So now you have a decision to make, send her to a nursing home where there are strangers caring for her, or keep her living as long as you can in the love and warmth of your own home where you know she will get the care she needs. Of course, we chose the latter of the two, there was 4 of us to help when needed. So I was helping with Gram, and Mom because yes, mom also had PH and wasn't able to do all she needed because of her medication and working a full time job. So I did the majority of it all. Cleaning, cooking, getting gram washed, dressed, fed etc. The guys rarely helped, it was gram lol so they can't bathe her or help her dress, so it was up to us. Then I got diagnosed early in 2012 so here comes another obstacle, or is it? Nope, I was determined, she is staying put. So now comes mom getting sicker as the days go by and was in and out of the hospital. We lost her to PH in late 2013. So now its all on my shoulder, being sick as well.
How did I handle this?
I set a routine in motion with a schedule. I revolved my doctors appointments around hers. She went every 3 months, mine was every 6 months and once a year with my PCP. When she went to the PCP I would make my appointment for the same day (same doc) that way we killed two birds with one stone.
Now, some of you may have patients that you care for that are able to do for themselves, so if it is possible, check with your area aging counsel and see if they can schedule pick ups and drop off of the patient to go to doctors appointments. We have a company here that we can use to pick the patient take them to their designated location and come back and pick them up and take them back home. Contact your health insurance and see if this is eligible to help with doctors. Through Medicare, only 9-1-1 ambulatory services are covered. However; in certain chronic and debilitating cases, Medicare will pay for non-emergency trips, but these need to be worked out on a case by case basis.
If you can not leave the person at home, like was in my case, I contacted my Aunt Sandy in advance and she would come and sit with my grandmother when I needed to go out for my PH Appointments. Or, I would have my neighbor sit with her while I took time to go shopping if Jerry was working. If I wanted to go on a small vacation or weekend getaway, I would call her Son to see if he would take her, or my niece would come and stay at the house. Area Aging and medicare can set up in home visits to give you a few hours away. Check with them to see if your patient qualifies, that way you are not burning yourself out doing everything yourself. They will come in and help clean, go shopping for the patient. Look into those resources in your area.
Daily routine, this was a life changer. I had to work around her. As I said she had mild to moderate dementia, she went into sun-downing cycles towards the full moon period, where she would be up all night and sleep in the daytime. I would then have to change my sleep routine. It was tiring at first, but I got use to it. I had to bathe her and help her dress. I normally would shower late at night or early in the morning. I got her a shower chair so she could sit while I bathed her. Now, with PH patients we aren't suppose to lift anything more than 10 lbs or anything that makes us go umpf. So, trying to lift her weight into and out of the tub was a struggle. I got a shower bar so she could hold onto while climbing in and out so that I could just be there for support.
Make time for yourself. Even if it is to lock yourself in the bedroom for at least a half an hour do it. Your health is just as important to the person you are caring for.
I learned a lot by finding different websites that I could read and see what I could do to keep myself from breaking down, while still dealing my health as well. Depending on what you are dealing with, many of the sites have live support forums that you can chat with people dealing with the same thing you are. Reach out and talk 😊
https://www.caregiver.org
http://caregiveraction.org
https://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-09-2013/my-life-as-a-caregiver.html
If you need an ear or a should, I am always here to give you my experience as well, hit me up on FB 😊
Stay tuned for my next blog: Traveling 💜😊
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